Friday, November 15, 2013

Crazy Coordinator Lady

I'm such a planner. I am very unorganized with it comes to some things. Just take a look in my "kid cupboard" in the kitchen. But then with other things I am Crazy Coordinator Lady.

We are moving. I need lists. And a huge 3-ring binder with labeled tabs. And white labels for each box that I write on with a color-coordinated sharpie that goes with each room. I printed off the floor plan from our soon-to-be house's appraisal and used my trusty sharpies to assign a color to each room. Those sharpies will then be used to write on the white labels and eventually on a big sign placed on each door when we get to our house so that the movers know where to put things. 

In fact, I accidentally used the wrong color on one of the boxes and actually had to go write over it with the appropriate one. Eeesh.

I need structure. I need a specific curriculum for my daughter to do preschool activities. I can't just think simple things up on my own. If it came down to that, I just would not teach her anything in an organized fashion and then beat myself up for being a below par mother. I either need to be organized or I give up completely.

I overwhelm myself. I have spent so much time planning for our move that I probably could have half the place packed up and labeled with a simple black marker. 

At times I will spend a half hour researching activities to do with my daughter instead of just playing with her during that time. 

Sometimes I really just need to take a breath and trust God. This is currently one of my struggles. My desire to be organized (which is a good thing, people!) and intentional with our time but at the same time to stand back, enjoy and just let life happen.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Jack - 4 months

Halloween - as Dora and Boots
Cora wanted to be The Map
We're friends, Momma
With my sweet church mentor, Diane

Jack - 3 months

This little guy is so social and happy. Where Cora was very serious and never wanted anyone else to hold her, even from a young age, Jack is always charming everyone with his smiles. 

With my friend Jean-Marie. This is a 3-month-old!
His little friend Ryder (who is also big for his age) is almost exactly 2 months older.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Jack - 2 months

These were taken about a week late, just after he started smiling.

Jack - 1 month

Jack's Birth Story

On June 20th at 2:53am, we welcomed our little man, Jack Edward, into the world. The end of this pregnancy was so much different than my experience with Cora. I felt like I was in labor for pretty much the entire last month. I even ended up in L & D before 37 weeks and was placed on a "resting" schedule. When I was full term, I thought for sure I would go into labor right away when I started doing activities normally again. Cora was 2 1/2 weeks early, so I was positive this little guy would be close to that as well. 

Needless to say, the last 3 weeks were L.O.N.G. I had contractions every day, and sometimes they would even get regular and worsen. But then they would just stop and nothing would happen. I kept hearing from everyone that the second one goes so much faster. I was starting to think that I might not even make it to the hospital in time, because I was so used to having contractions that I would end up waiting too long. 

My mother-in-law arrived on June 18th to stay with us for two weeks. We had thought that we would have a baby for sure by then, but by the time she came, I was wondering if she was going to end up being with us for quite some time before anything happened. 

Then at 6:38am on June 19th, I woke up to contractions once again. They were pretty irregular most of the morning, but then started getting more regular and stronger by mid-afternoon. I called Sean to come home from work, and we waited at home for a while before heading to the hospital around 9pm when my contractions were consistently 5 min apart. 

Just to back-story you a little, I live in California... Everyone out here is all about natural birth, and they have these amazing stories about how they all got to the hospital and the baby was born 20 minutes later with the doctor barely getting there on time. When Cora was born, I had an epidural pretty much right away, so I never really felt labor as it progressed. This time I was really hoping to go epidural-free. I knew that part of doing this successfully is to try to labor at home for as long as possible before going in.

Well imagine my disappointment when we arrived and I was only dilated to 4 cm. And my contractions were definitely more painful then I had ever felt before and were 5 minutes apart. They called my OB, and since I had changed a lot from when I saw him in clinic the week before, he told them to admit me. 

We were there during the busiest times that any of the nurses could remember - mine having been there for 25 years. I started out in a storage room with a bed cart in it (those are super uncomfortable if you have never ridden on one), while they hooked me up to the monitors and tried to get an IV. I really wanted to walk, because the laying on my back was making me want to cry. It took them 4 tries over about 45 minutes to get an IV (meanwhile I had to sit on the bed).

After they got the IV in, Sean and I walked the halls for a while. We finally got in a room around 11pm, and my OB said he wanted to break my water to "speed things up." I agreed after the nurse told me I could still walk around after the procedure. Well, unfortunately that did not happen. Jack's heart rate dropped with each contraction (which were now twice as painful as before), so I had to stay in bed so they could monitor him. I felt like a failure, but I was past my breaking point and asked for an epidural. I didn't feel like I could take the pain anymore. 

After my epidural was placed, we waited for it to kick in. But that never happened. I felt like the tops of my legs were getting numb, but I could still feel every contraction just as acutely as before. My nurse had the anesthesiologist come back to reposition it, but as soon as they sat me up, I fell over in the bed with no upper body control. Somehow my epidural had migrated up instead of down, and I was numb up to my armpits. I couldn't put the head of the bed down without having a hard time breathing.

They turned off the epidural completely in order for me to get sensation back (I had received some relief after his reposition attempt thankfully), and in the meantime, I was dilated to a 10 and ready to push. But since I had no abdominal muscle feeling, we had to wait until the medication wore off. Jack was doing well, so my nurse just stayed in the room with me to monitor us while we waited. For an hour. Then another half hour. I still felt a little numb, but my doctor said he wanted me to try.

Prior to pushing, Sean had been reading me verses that I had written on notecards. I pushed for 20 minutes with no change in Jack's position. My doctor said "she's getting tired" to Sean, and I knew that he was thinking about taking me for a c-section. I said I wanted to keep trying, and one of the verses that I had heard over and over was just playing on repeat in my brain. 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9a

I just kept praying that God would show His power through my literal weakness. I was still numb. There was no way that I delivered my little boy through my own strength. At 2:53am, after 50 minutes of pushing, he was born. Naturally. WIth no epidural (at least for the parts of my body that actually needed it).

9 pounds, 1 ounce, 21 1/2 inches of sweet, squishy baby.

Sean delivered him and, knowing that when Cora was born I had been sad that they took her away immediately before I got to hold her, he put Jack on my abdomen. I didn't think it could be possible, but right then I loved Sean even more then before. 

Later on that morning, Cora got to meet her new baby brother.